Hiccups by Mr. S

drink water from
the far side of the cup
stand on your head
jog in place
to get rid of the hiccups

have someone scare you
hold your breath
say the alphabet backwards
eat a spoonful of sugar
to get rid of the hiccups

cross your fingers and
stand on one foot
eat sandpaper sandwiches
sing opera into a trash can
to get rid of the hiccups

put bologna in your shoes
rub balloons against your hair
gargle vinegar and oil
walk on your elbows
to get rid of the hiccups

juggle five fresh eggs
while reciting Shakespeare
open all the windows
and let the snow blizzard in
to get rid of the hiccups

bark at the moon
and start chasing cats
tie your shoes together
put ketchup in your hat
to get rid of the hiccups

close your eyes
on a roller-coaster
plant lightbulbs in the garden
eat spaghetti with chopsticks
to get rid of the hiccups

if you do all these things
I promise you
that you’ll be so distracted
that you’ll forget you have
to get rid of the hiccups